the girls in the
blues club I suppose
must be legal,
just.
they wear lampshades
for dresses,
belted under breasts.
they dance for
the band, for
the singer to notice.
the blonde tries
out sultry, she
must have
picked it up
off daytime telly.
anything but easy
her chin tucked
into her chest and
her shoulders
twitching, arms
flopping like
sausage links.
the singer he
notices alright,
but it is a slow night
Julia ... I just read ALL (for September). These are WONDERFUL! I hope you'll ship some of them to me in an e-mail for the book.
ReplyDeleteA counterfeit of intimacy: what stripping and the sex trade are all about. You captured the essence of the street at night perfectly. I hope you put this in the book
ReplyDeleteah... this was a pair of teenage girls dancing almost alone in The Blues Club, trying on adult life for size, trying so hard to be noticed... counterfeit is exactly the right word!
ReplyDeleteNow that you are back home, is this blog coming down? Or will you leave it and start posting more when it's time for the next HoW? I finally unpacked the last of my suitcase last night. I'd been loath to do it because that really did mean the end had come. I found one of the notebooks I'd taken along but not filled. I am so eager to see the Book. Next time, I hope we will do more work-workshopping. Longer stuff, poetry, various things that we don't get to show to people in our daily lives for feedback.
ReplyDeleteMissing you Davieses and wishing for your hugs.
Gita
I like this. Descriptive without description dominating. The matter-of-fact comes through strongly without being dull.
ReplyDelete